Ten
years ago, our world was rocked in a way that few would have imagined possible.
However, in looking at the events of Columbine, we have the
responsibility to step back and ask, "Could such a thing happen again today?" See Columbine blog entry
How
involved are we in our kids’ worlds?
Do we know what they’re thinking about? Do we know what they’re doing in their free time? Do we know who they’re hanging around
with?
Unfortunately,
many parents feel as if they are “the enemy” or at least “outsiders” in their
kids’ lives. Where does this
feeling come from?
Some of
it is natural. Adolescence is that
time where individuals begin to question things more strongly – what they’ve
been taught, what they are observing, and the various authority figures in
their lives. It is a good,
healthy, natural response to want to know more. It is a big part of what makes us human.
But much
of the animosity toward parents is made worse by the things our kids are
exposed to: movies or TV shows where parents are made out to be idiots, music
where authority is criticized, video games where violent rebellion is
encouraged, and quite frankly, by parents and other adults who don’t set good
examples for our children.
Cheating on or avoiding paying taxes, scamming people out of their
investments, going back on promises during political campaigns, physical or
emotional abuse toward others, and a host of other ways that adults communicate
to everyone that wrong is right as long as you don’t get caught – or can even
be fixed if you get caught (i.e. birth control, abortion, ) all contribute to the state of being
that our kids grow into.
Fortunately,
it doesn’t have to be this way.
Here are some tips of things you can do to improve your child’s chances
for “Living the Dream Life!”
- Be positive– starting with your own attitude. Stop being negative about anything and look for the good in people and things.
- See things through their eyes – work to understand how they see things and what those things mean to them. Don’t react to anything – just try to take it all in and understand.
- Lighten the load – too much of even a good thing is not good. Try to cut things out of their lives that are not really helpful or where the return on that activity is greatly diminished.
- Positive osmosis – in addition to you attitude, replace negative things in their lives with positive things. Find good movies, TV shows, books, music, games, people etc. to expose them to.
- Find them a mentor – realize that you may not be the best person to help them. In fact, you may be the exact wrong person. Help them get connected to someone who can help get them on the right track.
Steve Von Hoene is a Teen Life Coach in the Cincinnati, OH area. With a passion for helping teens “live the dream life”, over 12 years of working with teens in various “coaching” capacities, and a 10+ year professional career in the world of corporate training and development, Steve is well equipped to help teens and their parents live the life they are meant to live. Please visit www.lifeprep.org and www.journey-learning.com.
